A point at which I discover broken records have their worth..
Hello Michael, what do we have here on my bench?
Ah, your brand new computer. Your brand new, mauve colored, grey stripped and flesh toned computer? What model is it? Apple GrannySmith's 9200? Really, I didn't think they were coming out with those until 2010.. Where did you get it? The campus store? Really? I still haven't gotten my PowerPC, and the order was placed some 12 years ago.. Yes, you're right, my graduation has been delayed some few years hence. It had to do with the change in congressional parties in '98. Now we serve the government, we don't just do time in the research labs anymore.
You're using it to regulate my bench well, how thoughtful. How long have I been away? Hmm, that sounds like quite a time, and you say it wasn't Europe on this particular occasion. That's good. I would like to think it was Australia, but I'm not certain. What was the ditty Searle used to utter when things weren't going well?
I left to go home and dreamed I never did? I dreamed I left to go home and never did?Well, that certainly applies in this case.
You say it makes a funny sound? Like so? It looks like the entire hard drive has exploded. Oh, you say that's normal, just the opening mechanism.. What's that? It looks like an old polyvinyl- tetrahydrochlorinylmolybdylate record, 33 1/3 RPM. Indeed! I didn't know they still made those. Who is it? Bruce Springstein? Didn't he marry Michael Jackson in 2005, or was it Priscilla Presley.. it was difficult to tell after they underwent the compaction of sexual conjoinment.
What are you doing with it? I don't think it belongs in there Michael. This isn't a CD-ROM. No Michael, I'm very sorry, they have yet to design a macintosh that will play your old polyinyl records. But if we stick it in the fusion microwave it may make a good bowl for holding the popcorn.